just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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