I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
