Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
