I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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