this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
They are going to name an STD after you.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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