She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
as a side note pls kill me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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