I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize