proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
