I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
