actually, I'm a sock model
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
love makes seman taste better
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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