Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
