Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Small penises have feelings too.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
