I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Boobs are out for the taking
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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