Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
