Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
