i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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