went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
bring money and cleavage
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
