all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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