Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
They took my balls.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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