Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
no you cant smoke seaweed
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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