Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
