I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
