So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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