sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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