How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
