It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
