Kiss
Puke
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
