Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
