normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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