I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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