whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
