Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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