HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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