so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
