Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
