stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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