I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
