who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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