she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
