Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize