Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
