3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
even my farts smell like vagina
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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