I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
