Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's never too late to be topless.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
