Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
