I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
