God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize