My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
