My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
