i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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