he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
