okay pat passed out under dana's car
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
