pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
