"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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