id be glad to
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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