Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
