better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
