....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Everything about him screamed your future.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
