You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
ok first of all what the fuck
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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