Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I FOUND THE LEGS
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
