Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
