i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
