Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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