i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
