Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
