if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
