I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
