The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
