Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
