last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
