Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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