You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Randomize
