I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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