after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
