I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
