FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Of course I have a pirate flag
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
