She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
