That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
