Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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