he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
