it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm getting married
To pizza
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
