grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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