We're facebook friends in real life
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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