I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
