Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
jump out the window naked night went bad
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
