No more Irish car bombs ever.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize