yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Your penis caused this!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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