Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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