What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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