Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
