This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
