ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
