You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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